Whatsername
by chromate
Summary: Ryoma could not let go of her when she left that suddenly. A talk with Fuji made him realize that even if he could, the time they spent would still be framed in his mind.


Disclaimer: Whatsername is a song by written by Green Day. I do not own it.

-

_Pok._

_Pok._

_Pok._

Sounds of tennis balls making contact with racquets were heard clearly throughout the courts. After all, the Seigaku High Tennis Team was defending their championship title, and practice was definitely needed to keep the players in shape. The regulars had been training hard, and their coach was stricter than ever. Everyone was determined not to let their glorious title slipped away, as the Tennis Team had won the National Championship last year. They wanted to succeed their senpai-tachi's achievements, so every day, every one was present at the tennis courts on time to practise hard.

All but one were present.

'Hey! your serve is too weak. Swing your arm more!' They could hear Momoshiro, the vice-captain, yelled at a first-year in a practice match. The players gulped, nodded nervously and gave another strike.

Momoshiro sighed. The atmosphere around the courts was bad. Very bad. He could not blame them, though, but life had to move on. They could not be affected by such things forever.

'Hey Kaidou,' he motioned towards an intimidating man who crossed his arms. He had a bandana, his trademark item, wrapped around his forehead as he watched his kohai playing against each other. 'That guy is not here again.'

Kaidou gave a short sigh, and Momoshiro could only do the same. Not that they were too cold to care about him: they simply had no idea how to make him come back to practise. Not even their coach, Yamona-sensei, could do anything.

'Give him some more time,' the buchou replied. 'Time can heal.'

Momoshiro would have laughed hysterically had Kaidou said that in other occasions. This time, he could only nod in agreement.

-

It was the time when the streets were most crowded. The working class had left their workplace to go back home and the students were wandering around, looking for entertainment that could paint their lives. Squeezing himself among the crowd to move forward, Ryoma finally arrived at his destined spot.

He found himself the empty bench in a park he had been longing for and sat down quietly. He looked back at the street where he walked from, the scene where he found so familiar since that day.

It was a new hobby he developed recently: just sitting there aimlessly while sipping his ponta. People occasionally gave weird stares at him, after recognizing the same teenage boy at the same spot at the same time every day. He ignored them all. Unbeknownst to them, the seventeen-year-old was seeing another picture in his mind.

Crowded street. Hot weather. Drink. Ponta. Vehicles. Crash. Lying body on the road.

It was the same repetition every day.

He had heard people once said that time froze at a certain moment, at which your life changed forever. He dismissed it as a stupid joke when she told him that, and laughed at her for believing in such silly thing. He thought otherwise now.

'Hey.'

He raised his head to take notice of the intruder to his Neverland. That smile was impossible to mimic by anyone. 'Fuji-senpai,' he nodded politely. The university student kept his usual smile.

'Could I sit here?' He glanced at the empty space next to the prince. He shrugged, and Fuji occupied the space.

'I heard from Momo that you came here a lot lately, so I decided to pay a visit.'

Same annoying character as ever, the green-haired snorted. Not that he hated him, but he just wanted to be alone. He looked around, anywhere but his glances.

'The tournament is going to start soon, ne? Eiji and I will be coming for Seigaku's first match in the Nationals. It's a pity others are busy on that day.' Fuji eyed his kohai carefully. Despite always carrying that same, occasionally frightening smile, he paid lots of attention to the surrounding people. He was worried. About him, Ryoma knew. Yet everyone else was. Probably his senpai-tachi asked Fuji to come for another therapy session.

His vision wandered to the crowd crossing the road. Somehow he wondered why it was never empty. People were walking as quickly as possible to reach their various aims. Nobody would notice if one or two usual figures passing by your side everyday vanished. No, the pace of how the society moved was too fast for many to comprehend. Take that four-eyed businessman for example. Ryoma's guess was that he wanted to leave work as soon as possible, judged by his appearance and relieved countenance. Or that brown-haired high school girl with those annoying braids. Probably going to find…

His eyes widened. That kind of hair, that height, that pose of carrying her books, there was no doubt.

'Sakuno!' He yelled, leaving a startled Fuji behind and jumped out of the bench, running towards the road. It was not a mirage, he was sure. He was definitely sure it was her. How could he not know what her back looked like after having seen it for five years?'

'Echizen wait!' Fuji knew something was wrong with the green-haired, and when he heard the word 'Sakuno' coming out of his mouth, he knew why. He rushed after him, and caught him just in time before he stepped on the traffic road.

'Get off me…' Ryoma struggled hard, but the tensai gripped his arms and prevented further actions from him. People around were staring at him as if he had lost his mind. Who would want to step one's foot on a road where cars were running at high speed?

'GET OFF ME!' Ryoma screamed with all his strength. 'She's just right there. I'm not going to let her go this time!'

Whack!

Ryoma became silent when he felt his shoulder hit the ground. He widened his eyebrows in realization, as his hand reached towards his reddened cheek. 'I am sorry Echizen,' Fuji looked at him, rubbing his own hand, 'but she's not here. She will no longer be.'

He felt like a direct stab in his heart, again. Fighting to stop the tears from running out of his eyes, he did what Fuji did not quite expect.

He was laughing.

'You're funny, Fuji-senpai.' Ryoma stood comfortably and tidied his school uniform. 'I just saw her with my eyes. There's no way I'd…'

'Are you sure? Because you also saw it on that day…' he needed not to continue. Ryoma knew what he meant.

Silence again filled the space between them. Ryoma felt his temper rising, but he could not release them on him. Because he was right. He was right.

-

_He sighed. Escaping from his mob of ever-faithful fangirls was getting harder these days. Why couldn't they leave him alone for tennis' sake?_

'_Another long day for you?' She grinned. Ryoma sent her an annoyed glare and reached for her hand._

'_As usual.' They started leaving the school campus and reached the park, where they liked to spend time together, alone, most. 'I wonder when they will stop bugging me,' Ryoma put his tennis bag on the bench. 'Speaking of which, they didn't do anything to hurt you today, did they?'_

_Sakuno shook her head, smiling. Being the girlfriend of the most-wanted male in the school was never an easy task, but when she saw him and his smile that was reserved for her only, she could not help but consider that it was worth it._

'_I'll make sure you're the first to know when they do.' She giggled, kissed him briefly, before rising from her sitting position. 'I'll get you a ponta, from the shop across the road. Grape flavour, right?' He smiled, nodding. Ryoma watched her leave, observing her back carefully. 'Hair still too long' was his first thought, but he liked her long hair very much. Sometimes he wondered how she could have such a great impact in his life. He used to know tennis and tennis only, but her presence changed everything. She was no longer the shy, timid Ryusaki from junior high, but a beautiful and popular young lady. Having going out for nearly three years together, Ryoma wondered what he would do without her._

_He chuckled mentally. Like he would let her go easily._

_He probably regretted that instant, as the sound of a rapidly decelerating vehicle came into his ears and made a loud 'pump._

_That was the loudest and quietest moment in his life._

-

Not knowing how, they were sitting on the bench again. Probably Fuji dragged his lifeless body back there, he did not know. 'Sa, Echizen,' he heard the tensai spoke again, 'we all have regrets in our lives. Sacrifices come along with success. You can never enjoy life without understanding sacrifices.'

He looked at his senpai as if to say 'get to the point'. Fuji smiled weakly.

'We all miss Sakuno-chan very much…probably not as much as you do, but life goes on. One day, your parents will pass away eventually. Your cat, Karupin, isn't it?' Ryoma nodded. 'Karupin will die one day. Tezuka, Momo, myself…we all die because we're only humans.

'Of course, what happened to Sakuno-chan was definitely a tragedy, but you cannot control death.'

Ryoma was slowly allowing Fuji's message to sink in. Of course he knew his life had not ended yet, but he could not get himself out of the misery. He had been trying for two whole weeks, ever since the incident took the stage, but he failed every time.

'Sakuno-chan was a very strong girl.' Fuji continued. 'Remember when Ryuzaki-sensei died of a sudden heart-attack four years ago? She cried like everyone else, but she accepted the fact that tears would not bring her grandmother back.

'Everyone is worried about you now, Echizen.' Fuji stood, signaling his departure. Ryoma continued staring at the ground. 'Don't let us down.' He turned and move away. 'Don't let Sakuno-chan down.'

Ryoma was deep in thought. Every moment they shared together flashed in front of his vision. He remembered the time he asked her out; the time she supported him during his matches; the time they kissed; the time when they were alone in her place at night…her appearance, her voice, the way she called his name, sensation she brought when they hugged each other…Ryoma remembered acutely every single detail. He took his pocket from his bag and flipped it open.

It was a picture of him and Sakuno, leaning against the sakura tree in the school. Fuji took that picture last year, when after attending their last tennis practice, he found the tennis team's favourite kohai sharing some intimate moment together. Ryoma observed the picture cautiously. They were looking at each other, smiling the most genuine smile one had even seen on their faces. His back leaned on the tree and she had her arms around his waist. He cupped her cheeks, looking at her passionately. The colour of the fading dusk concluded in what Fuji called 'probably the best picture I have ever taken.'

He felt tears eagerly coming out of his eyes. He could no longer control himself again. Sobbing soundlessly, he remembered their conversation the day before the fated afternoon.

'_Ne, Ryoma,' she cuddled up to his chest, resting comfortably on the couch, 'what will you do if I disappear?'_

_He was quite taken aback by the question and looked at her. 'That's a stupid thing to ask.' 'Mou, you're not answering.' She eyed him with her pleading eyes, which Ryoma had never succeeded in resisting._

_He adjusted their position so that she was now sitting on his lap. He placed a soft kiss on her lips._

'_I won't be able to live anymore.'_

-

'Your serve is still too weak. Add more power into it, or your opponent will easily return it!' Momoshiro yelled again. He glanced around the courts. Still no sign of Echizen.

'Momoshiro,' Yamono-sensei yelled from the other side of the court. 'You'll play against Horio in fifteen minutes. Court C.'

'Yes, sensei.' He replied, noticing a timid Horio walking towards him. Mr. Experience knew when to stop bragging about his years of tennis experience, especially when playing against his senpai.

'Ano…Momo-senpai, please go easy on me later.' He gulped. Momoshiro just laughed. 'It's not funny, senpai. Playing against a regular is a deep honour, but…' he trailed off, eyes widening. It took some time for Momoshiro to notice that the usually noisy tennis courts had turned quiet. He looked at where Horio had been glancing at, and turned towards that direction.

'Mada mada dane.'

The prince was carrying his racquet in one hand, several tennis balls in another. He ignored the shocked expressions on everyone's face upon his presence and walked towards where Momoshiro and Horio were standing.

'How about a match, Momo-senpai?' Momoshiro saw it. It was the usual grin on his face that he put on for years. The dunk specialist turned to Horio.

'We'll have a match next time.' He apologized, though not really meaning it.

-

'Hey Echizen,' Momoshiro started when returning his twist serve, 'your racquet looked different. When did you buy a new one?'

'_This racquet suits you more.' Ryoma stated when handing it to Sakuno. 'Your old one got broken strings, so I figure you'll have to buy a new one.' Sakuno was quite stunned upon receiving the gift. She held the red racquet carefully and smiled, placing a kiss on Ryoma's cheek._

'_Arigato, Ryoma.'_

'_Oh, and happy two years anniversary.' Sakuno just giggled. It was all so Ryoma-like. Although it would never be the most romantic gift a girl would get on their anniversary, knowing Ryoma, she still treasured it very much._

'Ah,' Ryoma smiled, which Momoshiro wondered. It was not a smirk. _Strange,_ he thought. _I have never seen him smile like that, apart from the time when he spent time with Saku…oh. _

Ryoma hit with his red racquet a perfect topspin and gained his break point. Maybe one day he would let go of her, but he would never forget her or the time he spent with her. Never.

-

_-The End-_

-

For those who're confused, Ryom and Sakuno were in their second year of senior high.

I know the ending sounds cheesy, but I cannot think of other way to do so…and this is yet again another sudden hit of idea, like how I got _The shy, the protective and the unpredictable_. I was walking back to my dorm when listening to the _American Idiot_ album and this song, and the idea hit me. The whole story followed neither the song nor the storyline of _American Idiot_. I just follow my instincts and type it. There's not much Ryosaku moment in this fic, as it's mostly Ryoma-centric.

Weird…now I read it again it sounds FujiRyo in some way…haha but no. With all due respect I'm not into yaoi fics, because I just love Ryosaku so much.

I am now going to do a new chapter for Dear Cousin, and hopefully it will be out in one week. Please review and stay tuned!


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